A successful marriage requires falling in love multiple times with the same person over and over again. That’s why couples need to know how to survive a loveless sexless marriage in case such happens.
However, being deliberate about surviving or sparking up love in a loveless and sexless marriage is difficult.
This is because love and sex are the major components that make every marriage survive.
Nevertheless, it is not impossible not to survive it.
You may be in a loveless and sexless relationship and you’re not ready to leave for some reason.
In this article, we’ve highlighted practical ways to survive a loveless and sexless marriage.
What Is A Loveless Sexless Marriage?
A loveless sexless marriage is a situation whereby a couple has little or no affection for each other and literally.
It simply means no sexual activities have been performed by them at least in the last six months or in the last year.
And if there is, it can’t be compared to how it used to be.
Every couple may have personal experience of what a loveless sexless marriage looks like.
But generally, a loveless sexless marriage is one in which the couple is void of emotional and sexual attraction towards each other.
Signs Of A Loveless Sexless Marriage
There are a lot of glaring signs to conclude that you’re in a loveless sexless relationship and they include;
- There is a constant distance between you.
- Your communication level has reduced drastically.
- You may be having sex but it doesn’t feel right.
- You or your partner no longer care about how you both feel.
- Your partner isn’t reciprocating the effort.
Reasons For A Sexless Loveless Marriage
Now that you’ve seen the signs of a loveless sexless marriage, there is definitely a reason for it.
Knowing the ‘why’ is a practical way to proffer a solution to the problem.
With this, your problem is half solved.
Although, it may be difficult to have a difficult conversation with your partner, once you understand the reason why you’re having a loveless, sexless relationship you’ll begin to seek a practical solution to the problem.
Without knowing this you may find yourself constantly getting angry and frustrated all because of what your marriage is going through
There are a lot of factors that could cause a loveless and sexless relationship.
Here are some of them.
1. Communication Issues
When couples can no longer express the exact way they feel towards each other, there is a gradual drift in communication and love.
2. Emotional Disconnection
Over time, some couples may experience a decline in their emotional intimacy due to unaddressed emotional needs thereby, they start drifting apart.
3. Sexual Difficulties
Problems such as differences in sexual preferences and physical health issues can take a huge toll on the sexual life of a couple.
4. Stress And External Pressure
Marriage is hard work, and if couples are not intentional enough about making it work, they may gradually begin to drift away from each other.
Stress like parenting, financial pressure, and life challenges can affect relationships thus, leading to a decreased level of emotional and sexual connection between them.
5. Physical Distance
If you’re in a long-distance marriage, you’re most likely to experience this.
When couples are apart for a long period, it begins to affect their emotional and sexual connection.
This is because, the virtual expression of feeling cannot be compared to being in physical contact with each other and if this is not managed well; it may lead to a loveless, sexless marriage.
So How Do You Survive A Loveless Sexless Marriage?
1. Don’t Suppress Your Feeling
Suppressing your feelings in a loveless and sexless marriage will do you more harm than good.
To survive such kind of marriage you have to accept that you’re one.
Once, you’ve acknowledged this fact, it allows you to seek for solution.
It starts by being honest with yourself about the exact way you feel in your marriage.
2. Communicate To Your Partner
If any marriage needs more communication than ever before then it is at this stage.
Once you notice that your marriage is drifting into a loveless and sexless one then it is time to increase the level of your communication so you both can be on the same page.
One of the mistakes you can make is to avoid talking about the problems you’ve encountered in your marriage to your partner.
But if you truly want to save your marriage, talk to your partner, it’s going to be a hard one, but having sincere communication with them makes them aware of the stage of things.
By having a sincere discussion with your partner, you’ll gain a better understanding of each other’s perceptive.
You must also know that intentional communication requires listening skills, empathy, and willingness to compromise.
If you both can do this then trust me, your love will be regained.
3. Find Out If There Are Any Underlying Issues
Once you begin to feel a drift in your love and sexual life with your partner then it’s high time to find out if there are any underlying issues between both of you.
You both may have a lot of unresolved issues that you sweep under the carpet that is in turn gradually making both of you turn away from each other.
The best way to do this is to be honest with each other because being honest will make you both feel comfortable about talking and at the same time give access to vulnerability.
Remember that when you open up to your partner it makes him or her better and through this way, you can save your marriage.
4. Become More Intimate
Becoming more intimate in a sexless and loveless marriage will help you save that marriage.
Being more intimate beyond sex helps you build trust, love, and companionship.
If you both are drawn away from each other and cannot understand each other emotional needs then, that relationship will continue to be loveless.
Prioritizing emotional intimacy requires spending quality time alone with your partner.
This enables you both to engage in deep conversations, reminisce over the good times you once had together, and simply enjoy each other’s company.
You and your spouse should discuss practical ways in which you both can build intimacy even outside the bedroom.
This will help you both spend time together and pay attention to the details going on around you.
5. Be Patient And Understanding
Another way to survive a sexless loveless marriage is to increase your level of patience and understanding especially if you know where the lack of love is coming from.
All you need to do is not lose your temper or get unnecessarily angry as this will only worsen the situation
If you’re willing to save your marriage then you should be patient and understanding especially during conversations that could lead to further arguments.
Remember that you’re trying to save your marriage and this can only be done with love, patience, and understanding of your partner.
6. Ask Your Spouse If They Are Willing To Change
If you have an idea about what the major problem and drift of love is all about then you should ask your partner if they are willing to compromise to make changes that will positively affect the marriage.
If they are not willing to work on the problem but you are then, the result may be obvious because the positive energy is coming from you alone.
The best way to do this is to have open communication with them by asking if they are willing to change.
If the answer is no, then, you know where to pick things up from.
7. Be Intentional About Your Sex Life
The truth is that most couples tend to get tired of each other after a long while in the marriage.
However, it takes constant effort and a large level of intentionality to sustain or keep the spark going in your sex life.
If you have to schedule time for sex because of your busy activities then don’t hesitate to.
Afterward, spice up your activities in the bedroom, read about new sex styles, and make yourself attractive and sexual to your partner.
Most importantly, communicate with them how they loved to be served in the bedroom.
8. Practice Self Care
Another step on how to survive a loveless sexless marriage is to practice self-love.
Taking care of yourself allows you to focus on your physical, mental, and emotional health.
Doing this enables you to take charge of the things that go on in your life without external interference.
Start by ensuring that you maintain a healthy physical and mental lifestyle, exercise regularly, eat healthy, drink enough water, and dress well.
Additionally, doing this makes you happy, and engage in hobbies that you’re passionate about, this makes you have a life of your own and gives you fulfillment as well.
Imbibe the act of loving yourself as well, fall in love with the person that you are becoming, and find satisfaction in yourself because, trust me, no one will love you more than you love yourself.
So, love yourself and be happy as much as you can.
Surviving a loveless sexless marriage isn’t as easy as it sounds but YES YOU CAN.
You can survive it if you’re ready to put in all the work and energy that it requires and this starts by making your marriage fun.
See the positive sides of your marriage and explore it.
However, if you notice that surviving is beyond what you can do all by yourself, then this is the best time to seek professional help like a therapist or counselor.
After this, if you still find reasons to continue in the marriage you can otherwise it may just be time for you to walk away.