If you’re intentional about how to fix a relationship you ruined then, this article is for you.
It is easy to notice the obvious signs that you are the one chasing him but, you might just be so clouded with emotions that you don’t seem to notice.
Every healthy relationship is a mutual reciprocation of compassion, commitment, and effort
While it takes a long period to build a thing, it might just take a few seconds to destroy all that has been built.
Your relationship might have gotten ruined because of an impulse reaction or decision from you.
And now, you realize that your relationship is priceless to you so you shouldn’t have let it go.
Anyway, you can always get back your relationship if only you know the right steps to take.
If you have ruined your relationship already, this is not to condemn you or make you feel bad about yourself, there is still a way out.
Here are a few ways to fix a relationship you ruined.
How To Fix A Relationship You Ruined
1. Acknowledge That You Were The One Who Ruined The Relationship
Most times when we do wrong things to people around us, we find it quite hard to take the blame rather, we find excuses to cover up for ourselves.
If you really want to fix that relationship you ruined, you must take the hard route.
It might cost you your ego, but you should do it if you are willing to save your relationship.
It’s either you save your ego or you save your relationship.
It might be difficult for you, but once you acknowledge that it was your fault, it reduces the tension between you and your partner.
It also makes it a lot easier to move towards fixing the problem.
Take note, a mature person takes responsibility for even what they do wrong.
Sending someone to your partner to speak on your behalf won’t do, take up the courage to say to your partner’s face what you have done wrong.
Once you do that, it helps the situation and gives you both a brighter light on how best to move forward together as one.
2. Reach Out First
Have you done something wrong and felt like you shouldn’t be the one to reach out first?
If you’ve ever felt or acted that way, that’s not the best thing to do.
When your relationship matters to you, you’ll be the first to reach out.
One of the things that happens when there are issues between partners is that the communication line gets broken.
Bridge the broken line first by reaching out and trying to send a text or put a call through.
You can even meet up with your partner physically and explain things to him/her.
It shows intentionality! Don’t procrastinate.
Tell the person that you know you messed up, but you want to make things right.
Make them understand how things are not right with you because of their absence in your life.
Apologize in sincerity and if the person doesn’t respond immediately, give them time.
It takes time to heal from a hurt especially when it’s a deep cut from a loved one.
3. Take Responsibility For Your Actions
What makes you an adult is your ability to take responsibility for your actions and not put the blame on anyone.
When you’ve accepted that you’ve done things the wrong way and you have ruined your relationship yourself, take responsibility for every action that led to the ruin.
It’s not enough to reach out first, but in your words don’t try to run away from your faults by making excuses for yourself.
Honestly explain what you did and why you did what you did, accept all the blame, and don’t try to shift it onto anyone else.
4. Apologize Sincerely
Sincerity can be felt like a sweet fragrance.
Your partner would be able to tell if your apology is genuine or not.
Whether you are saying it to fulfill all righteousness, or it is coming from the depth of your heart.
A genuine apology strikes a chord in the heart of who you are apologizing to.
Make sure you mean everything you are saying to your partner.
Don’t just say what you mean, mean what you say.
You don’t only apologize to your partner to make them feel better, let your words be intentional.
5. Don’t Be Too Defensive
To be defensive is trying to justify your actions or words especially when you are accused of being wrong.
You cannot get your relationship on the other side of the ocean if you are always trying to justify every one of your actions.
When you are been corrected or if your partner is stating your fault, don’t try to interrupt them or justify yourself immediately.
When your partner is explaining what you did to hurt them so badly, just make sure you hear them out and apologize with all sincerity.
You can also ask your partner to tell you more, this will make them feel like you’re really hearing what they are saying and that you are ready to hear them and change.
6. Listen To What The Other Person Has To Say
Don’t assume your partner is fine because you said sorry.
Your partner has things in their heart they need to let out, things they need to say to you so that their heart can be helped.
Even if your partner does not say a word, ask them to tell you what’s in their heart and be ready to listen to them.
When you do that, you make them feel safe by telling you all that is in their heart.
Silence won’t fix your relationship.
7. Acknowledge Their Feelings
When you are in a conversation with your partner, tell him/her that you understand how they feel.
This makes them know that you understand their plight and pain and that you won’t hurt them anymore.
When your partner sees that you are feeling exactly the way they feel, they’ll find a place in their heart to forgive you and give you a second chance.
That way, you’d be able to fix the situation.
Validate them and tell them that you understand why they feel that way.
This will show the person that you know you messed up, and that you don’t want to cause them this kind of pain again.
8. Give Them Space If Need Be
There are some persons who really take a long period of time to heal from offenses.
Your partner might be someone like that who needs enough time to heal on his/her own.
The depth of the pain that the offense caused will determine the amount that’ll be needed to heal from it and for you to repair the relationship.
In such cases, the relationship cannot be fixed in a day.
If you’re not sure of what to do, walk up to your partner and ask if they need time and space to themselves.
And if they say yes, please respect their wish.
Give them time to be alone and think.
Don’t also try reaching out to them during that period.
9. Express Your Feelings Towards Them
Another way to fix a relationship you ruined is to express your feelings towards them.
Let them know how much they mean to you.
This is a conscious act to fix the relationship. You shouldn’t wait for when you feel like it until you express your feelings towards your partner.
Do all you can to show them that you care and that you are ready to make up for all that you’ve done.
Make sure that they can see that the relationship matters to you as well.
10. Prevent It From Happening Again
Mistakes are inevitable, they say and that’s because we are humans.
But a wise person stops a mistake from repeating itself.
Before you can prevent a thing from happening, you must have the right knowledge about it
So, check, what’s the mistake?
Where did the mistake come from?
At what point did it happen?
This will really help to do better next time.
When your partner notices this action in you, it says to them that you are ready to be better and won’t hurt them again.
11. Pick Your Lessons
After examining yourself and your mistakes, I believe you must have seen the loopholes and picked up one lesson from it or the other.
Learn to be more patient, to talk better, to endure and
not conclude without knowing what exactly happened.
Working more on yourself to be a better person for yourself, your partner, and for people around you will help you save your relationship.
12. Figure The Root Of The Issue
Once you’ve gotten to the root of the whole matter, solving the problem becomes easy.
It’s not just about doing what you feel is right but getting to know the real issue and solving it the right way.
You can only acknowledge that you’ve done wrong when you’ve figured out the root of the whole issue.
Once the root is dealt with, then something like that can never happen again.
Knowing that you’re the one who ruined your relationship and coming into the consciousness of fixing it shows that you’re indeed responsible and ready for the responsibility that comes with relationships.
Conclusively, after seeing how you ruined your relationship, follow these highlighted steps above to get it back.
Enjoy the new bliss of your relationship afterward.